Ask Me
by JesterChester
Summary: Quinn decides to use her MetroNorth pass, and it's long overdue.


I'd emailed her a million times. I'd told her that she could visit at any time, but still no word back. I felt like giving up on her, I've felt like giving up on her more times than I can count, but every single time I think that, I remember those stupid words that I'd uttered last year. _We're kinda friends right?_

Why did I say that? Why did she even respond?

I still remember that look on her face, there was a glint of hope and then hesitation. Did I force her into this friendship? Was I too needy and this is why she has replied back? Probably. I know I looked too far into it, I know I expected too much from her, and this is what I deserve, I guess…

She was so distant after her accident. I know that she'd been rehabbing, and maybe Joe was the one who really helped her out, but I always wondered why she didn't ask for my help. I would've gone to therapy every single day if it meant she'd look at me the way she did in that hallway before that stupid crash.

Sometimes I missed the days when she'd just yell at me, when she despised me, because at least during those days she cared enough to make my life miserable. That's wrong of me though, Quinn apologized for that a million times, and I had already forgiven her before she even muttered the words _I'm sorry_, because I knew she never meant to hurt me.

Yesterday I even managed to stoop to my lowest point and ask Santana if she'd seen Quinn since school started. Santana told me that she'd seen her in Lima over Thanksgiving break, that Quinn had smacked her, and that Quinn was a stupid slut. Then Santana hung up on me like I'd expected her to, and I knew for a fact that she'd probably called Quinn right after and I was sure they'd be friends again by the next day.

Sometimes I just wanted to scream. I couldn't take it, it wasn't right for Quinn to be so rude after everything we'd been through. She was the one person I promised myself that I'd stay connected to, she was the one person I knew I could connect with, but only if she let me.

I ran my finger through my hair, grabbed a bottle of wine, and sat down on the couch. Tonight I was going to get hammered.

Alone.

Kurt had work, and he always went out afterwards, it was only 9:27 p.m. which meant I had at least 6 hours alone, and I knew I could watch Titanic, drink wine, and cry all through that time.

The knock on the door stopped me from opening the bottle, but it didn't stop me from sighing out load and dragging my feet as I walked over to the door. I just hoped it wasn't anyone from my dance class, my reindeer cozy shorts, and my reindeer sweater certainly would make me look like an idiot.

Who cares? It's Christmas Eve and I'll be damned if I spend one more second of my life caring what anyone else thinks of me. I swung the door open, and started to tell whoever it was to leave so I could sulk, but I stopped myself when my eyes met hazel.

Quinn.

Words were already coming out my mouth before I could stop them. I could tell I was rambling because a smile played her face, and her hand went up and she pulled off her beanie, before running her hands through her cropped hair. I would've thought she'd have grown her hair because to it's old length, but I'm happy she's kept it the same. "…I'm really happy you're here, and I know that I probably bothered the hell out of you with all of my emails and calls and-…" I stopped myself because for a second I was completely and totally lost in her eyes. I shook my head and took a step back so that Quinn could come inside. "Kurt's not here, but if you want I could call him, I'm sure he wants to see you-."

"No." I didn't know if she was going to add something else, but when she walked into the kitchen and leaned against the counter, I figured that was all she was going to say. She pulled off her jacket, and I could immediately see the shift in the color of her eyes, her sweater was green, so her eyes darkened to match. She had on jeans which I'd forgotten she'd even owned, but I decided a long time ago that I preferred Quinn out of uniform any day. Quinn shoved her hands into her pockets and gave me this look that just begged me to continue.

"Do you want anything? I'll make some tea, it's freezing out. Don't tell me you walked from the subway station to my apartment." I was putting the kettle on the stovetop, and I felt the shift in the tension in the room, and that's when I realized that Quinn was standing right next to me.

"I did, it wasn't too bad." Why was she so quiet? Sure Quinn wasn't as talkative as me, but she would never just quietly exist. Did this mean that the distance had returned between us? If it had then why did she even bother to come out here? "Santana called me." My heart dropped. Of course, of course she was only here because Santana had probably begged her. Maybe she'd even called me a sad sack, and Quinn felt so guilty that she decided she'd just make a quick visit.

"Well I hope you feel guilty about ignoring me for months, and you know what? It sucks that Santana had to call you out for you to even think of coming to see me. I knew you could be mean, but I didn't realize you were a liar too." My heart was beating so fast I was sure that she could hear it. The silence that followed was replaced by the screaming of the kettle. I prepared Quinn's tea and handed it to her before moving over to the other side of the counter.

"I didn't mean-…Rachel, I didn't-."

"Ask me how many times I've cried because of you." I demanded of her. She set the cup of tea down and frowned. I could tell she didn't want things to go like this, I could tell that she wanted to control what was said, but that's exactly why I couldn't let her.

"Rach-."

"More times than I can count." I said without even warning her about the harshness of my voice. I went over to the couch where I left the wine bottle; I grabbed it, opened it, and poured myself a glass.

"What are you doing?" She'd gotten closer again. My hand was on the wine glass, but her hand was covering mine, making sure that there was no way for me to get the glass to my lips.

"Relaxing, it's almost Christmas." I guess the bitterness in my voice was enough to make her let go, but for some reason I still didn't drink the stupid wine, because she wouldn't stop staring at me.

"Ask me now." She said quietly. I had to strain to hear her, and even then I was confused.

"Ask you what-?"

"Ask me, how many times I've cried." I didn't want to, the image of Quinn crying was too much. Her hands were in her hair again, and I wanted to smack them away because it was so distracting.

"No, because it's not the same. Do you know how it feels to be a loser? Do you understand that you made my life miserable for so long that giving me hopes of a friendship and crushing it makes me feel like shit? Because it does. And it's not fair! And you've never been fair to me Quinn, you've never been-."

"Shut up." Quinn said without hesitation. I raised my hand to smack her, but she grabbed both my wrists before I could even register anything. I didn't know how my back ended up pressed against the counter and I didn't know how Quinn could still look me in the eyes and not even budge.

"Quinn, for the love of-…I don't even know how I feel about you. You've lied to me before, and sometimes I don't even think you've changed one bit-."

"Rachel, I told you to just shut up." Her lips were soft when she pushed forward and pressed them against mine. As soon as she let go of my wrists my hands were running through her hair, and when Quinn moaned I knew that I would do anything to hear that sound a million times over because it was so damn beautiful and erotic. Her hands didn't stay in one place, when her tongue entered my mouth I felt like I could never get enough, I wanted to kiss Quinn Fabray forever.

"Quinn I-." I had no idea what I even wanted to say, because Quinn's hands had roamed all the way down to my ass and when she squeezed I felt like I was going to orgasm on the spot. Quinn lifted me up onto the counter and immediately my legs tightened around her waist. I wanted to be close to her like this forever, I wanted her to nip at my neck and scratch my back for the rest of our lives.

She began kissing my lips again and there was no way I could ever get used to this feeling. There was no way I could ever let her touch me like this and not moan when she bit down on my bottom lip, tugging it gently at first and then harder when I groaned her name. "I love you." I would've killed to hear her say that until I couldn't breathe anymore. Finally. That's all I could think was _finally_. "That's why I didn't call or text back because I was trying to convince myself that I didn't need you, that we were just friends, but it can't be that way because I love _you_."

I kissed her this time; it was gentle but still gripping and slightly needy. "I've loved you since junior prom and I can't believe it took you this long to say it." Quinn smiled as I wrapped my arms around her neck. "This is kinda like-."

"A fairytale?" Quinn said with a slight blush crossing her cheeks.

"How did you know I was going to…?" I blinked and then looked down. She knew me better than I knew myself. Maybe she had been paying attention all this time. I had quirks but I was unique and with the way Quinn was holding me right now, I knew that she'd embraced it.

"Rachel?" I looked up at Quinn who's eyes had brightened up again.

"Yea." I whispered.

"I'm sorry." She said.

"For what?" She could be apologizing for a million things but I knew whatever it was, I was going to forgive her anyway.

"For pretending that I didn't love you."


End file.
